Tag: Suffered

Doomed

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It wasn’t your responsibility, You need to comprehend this and move on. You are not doomed totally. While appearing back at my home, I understood and said this to myself. It had been two months, I was within these giant walls, of so-called jail a  now heading back to home is parallel to musing.
Again and again, slapping my face to wake up if it’s not real. Just because it
turned into a habit of, daydreaming of reaching home, within a week after going
inside there.

No one wants to be there, so not me, but, I had to surrender, to the police, to prove my innocence. Just because of a lady, who heads a prostitution hub, just two houses after my residential area ends. Accused me of hitting up, to her agent, who she termed, as her husband, just because she wanted a huge sum of money, to pummel the entire colony just so, she can increase her
vitality, in society.

My only fault was, I saved some girls from that another dungeon, where they sell them naked for some people who pay for
pleasure, that too the juveniles.
I hit many customers coming there,
stood totally against of her cruelty, by complaining about her to higher officers and even tried to reach local delegates. But literally, later on, ratified, everyone was bribed by her and soon they planned to put an end to my attempts, and then finally some cops which were bribed, and helped her to frame this case. I was fucked up badly.

It was a blackout inside, the day seems
dark and night seems bright
like plain white, I can scribble upon.
I opted to endure, silence when
everyone in the home
was making  chaos
on my determination to surrender.
Mom was scared of my future,
Dad was worried about my present,
family factors kept cursing the past.
Friends, when came to
know about my trial, started backing off, one by one and eventually,
I evolved alone.
I reaped no one, whom I
can confess, I want a
hug, I am scattering
into fractions, and
my face settled
mood less. The manner I was
strengthened, everyone thought,
he might be the sinner.
And this “Sin” was a big story
to impact my life thoroughly
and it perpetrated ultimately.
I was breathing doom
to an edge but still
chose silence in the purpose of,
attention, for the demand
of truth, to disclose, which
furthermore made me wild.
I kept screaming, it’s totally framed,
I am not the one who did it,
Its the woman, who runs
Prostitution hubs, and killed him.
My flaw which brought me here
Is I only forbade her customers
To sin over the body of juvenile girls
And let them live in lifetime fear .
It should be her, behind the bars
Not me, I am innocent
Please don’t take away my charm.
I want to live jovially, not like
a prisoner forever.
Let me go,
don’t punish me for the crime
I never did. Don’t ruin my life
For taking a stand for juveniles,
They are just small girls,
Don’t even know, when it hurts!!

I kept shouting, it’s totally framed, please at least learn something about the lady she is involved in human trafficking, confusing the young girls forcefully to work for her hub, and they put me into those walls, no one even bothered, that they are ruining someone’s life just for the sake of money.
I spent two months, waiting to be bailed out and reach home. I tried to kill myself, bang my head in a wall, tried to jump off, fought with the other prisoners and officials inside so they beat me to death.

I was guilty, of the condition my family was going through, my father couldn’t sleep, he was going into depression, and got admitted to the hospital, on the other hand, my mom was already in a depression, and she could not tell about her conditions to anyone, just because of me. So I decided to die and started attempting it in jail, but somehow, I was saved in the end by someone. Now, the condition was, I couldn’t even die, now.

The jailer put me in a barrack of more than ten people so, I can be watched by them, where I find a person of my age, who understood my mental condition and helped me out to live in this dungeon. He taught me to arrange food, also, how to react to other prisoners, and told me about the do’s and don’t’s of that hell. Then after a month, I adapted to the atmosphere but never stopped concerning my family, so I cover myself with the blanket and use to cry the whole night, and spent several nights like this. The day somehow was spent in an arrangement for the necessities of this body. The suffering begins from the evening, till the next morning.
Today when I was bailed by the judge at 6 in the morning and left this hell after 5 hours of completing, formalities of releasing a prisoner from the jail. The first person I saw was my elder brother, who was there for the last 3 hours waiting for my release, and finally, I hugged him tightly for a while,  and we both cried. Headed towards my car, he smiled and offered me the keys to drive, I refused coz I was shivering of fear of facing my family members, and especially my paa, maa, and sis. I looked through the car’s window, to the sky above, feeling guilt eternally but then, realized and
I told myself, It wasn’t your responsibility, You need to comprehend this and move on.
Just remember that
” The now’s silence is the later’s wild”.