I m 6 they removed my pants
Told me to roam naked, With full of embarrassment
Everyone was inside, couldn’t shout
enough louder to their ears, for help
They started throwing water with small stones which strike below hard and then some ground dust with dry grass to make look it brown and stingy.
I am scared, they were 6 and their laughing faces fear me enough to groan for my pants.
I kept trying, running around stretching my t-shirt from the bottom end to hide my dirt and the nakedness. However, I failed, and cry harder thinking they would stop. They were old enough to understand what I was going through but still,
They made me sat down cross legs, the very first time the grass felt like cactus which was painful enough to traumatize my eternal. On the other hand, now I could hide it, my nakedness from them
But they were not in a mood. They caught my leg pull it towards them. They picked a rotten dry brown enfeebled stick usually fallen on the grass from trees above.
which was hard enough to pinch.
They started stabbing my bumps, with that thank God not inside, but one by one they continued till that bleed. I shouted and threatened them to stop else I’ll call my dad.
This was the wrongest statement I made that time. They started pinching the front part then. I was helpless and suddenly heard the steps of an elder approaching. They ran away left me lying in pain over that grass which was irritating me and burning my sensations of the abdomen part. I picked up my pant went inside took a bath without telling anyone maybe fear stopped me or the condition they made of me coz I was a boy and none Expects that condition from a boy. I was dead then. Yes at 6.
But I waited.
Waited to grow up.
To make them realise what they did.
Cause from that day I grew up as arrogant. I missed being polite to anyone.
I become a fighter, a giant and hard one.
I hate and hit harder if anyone touches me even for love and for someone who dabs my back with pride, even my parents’ touch was a question to me.
I grew up and then karma put them there
Where I was at 6, lying on the grass with naked pants.
Now I am 15,
those 6 are together again, and their laughing faces again took me to that day.
The agony which made me scream that day was to be given back.
I closed the gates of my home, called everyone from inside by shouting louder enough to reach their ears, They were sure to be beaten up, but my debonair was different. Everyone gathered in the garden, I removed my pants, with tears falling down with every word coming out of my mouth. I showed them the scars the way they made my down part dirty and how they pained me till I bleed back and front. I screamed on and on and on not on those 6 but on my 4. Why they couldn’t hear my scream that day. Why they never asked about the bath I took that day out of my routine at 6 in the evening. Why I hate and shout at their touch when they were showing care and love in against. Why and why and why .?….
Why they never noticed my arrogance at the age of 6 and termed it as a hormonal change so early. Why they never felt the communication gap. I want to ask them why I didn’t feel comfortable sharing my problems with them. Why they never asked me the reason when the principal phoned them to pick me up from the school coz I was engaged in a fight.. why I fight every time. Why I killed myself at the age where everyone just started a new life. Why? Why I could not thrash their laughing faces now when I m capable of it.??
I hate myself. Not
My family…
Not those 6,
But for myself…
Coz, I was the guy,
And according to the society we grew in where Only girls are meant to be noticed, they are the only one who gets tortures not guys. So I hate myself to be a boy and bless myself not to be a girl cause they are expected to go through these which is more painful.
And yup
its a poem🖤
